“I thought leaving you would be easy,
just walking out the door
but I keep getting pinned against it
with my legs around your waist and it’s like
my lips want you like my lungs want air,
it’s just what they where born to do so
I am sitting at work thinking of you
cutting vegetables in my kitchen
your hair in my shower drain
your fingers on my spine in the morning
while we listen to Muddy Waters, I know
you will never be the one I call home
but the way you talk about poems
like marxists talk of revolution
it makes me want to keep trying.
I’m still looking for reasons to love you.
I’m still looking for proof you love me.”—Clementine von Radics (via kisstheshoreline)
Sometimes I think I shouldn’t let you come back. This has all gone on too long. It is so hard to love someone so inconstant, someone who is so often fading before my eyes. But I know I will always welcome your return. The way you crack open the sky to come home to me. It is all I can do to bathe in your brilliance. Beautiful, after all this time you still control my every move. I become such a monster when I miss you. Darling, it is always so dark when you’re gone.”—From The Ocean To The Moon, Clementine von Radics (via clementinevonradics)
“He wanted to live life to the extreme, but without any mess of complications. He wanted to live life in such a way that if a photograph were taken at random, it would be a cool photograph. Things should look right. Fun; there should be a lot of fun and no more sadness than absolutely necessary.”—David Nicholls, One Day (via larmoyante)
“This is what love does: It makes you want to rewrite the world. It makes you want to choose the characters, build the scenery, guide the plot. The person you love sits across from you, and you want to do everything in your power to make it possible, endlessly possible. And when it’s just the two of you, alone in a room, you can pretend that this is how it is, this is how it will be.”—David Levithan, Every Day (via larmoyante)
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.”—Anaïs Nin (via theyoungmachine) (via anaisnin)
“i disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. i refuse to live in the ordinary world […] to enter ordinary relationships. i want ecstasy. i am a neurotic - in the sense that i live in my world. i will not adjust myself to the world. i am adjusted to myself.”—anais nin (via paavo) (via anaisnin)
do you ever get in one of those moods where you’re like feeling okay but you’re really sad at the same time and you just want to talk to someone and make them hug you but you feel annoying so you kind of just sit there being really sad
“i think i met all the
wrong men before
you and i think they
ruined me but i
think you’re really
handsome the way
a map is handsome,
with skin wide open
soaked in the whole
world’s ink.”—Safia Elhillo, “susie knuckles in love,” published in As Us (via pigmenting)
so now you’re about to turn twenty and the world hasn’t gotten any bigger for you. you’re untouched, unloved, unprepared. your parents still pay for your gas. your friends all have internships. one of them even got cast to be in a movie. you’ve got all this talent that you don’t know how to share. you just want to fuck someone, anyone, to feel a little less like an island. the man at the McDonald’s drive-thru held both sides of your hand when he handed you your change and you cried the entire way home. skin burns. you’re about to turn twenty and you feel like you’re fifteen. you sleep for fourteen hours and still need a nap. the world is shrinking one empty heartache at a time.
you’re scared you’ll never find anyone to love you, not even well. you’ll settle for anything.
you’re about to turn twenty and they never remind you how young that is. falling in love does not make you grow up, heartbreak does, and there is more than one way to fall apart.
you’re about to turn twenty and it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay.